Brainstorming

I've had this thought for a few weeks that the only way we're going to turn this economy around is by doing it ourselves. The federal government, with billions of our (future) tax dollars at its disposal, has failed to make any real progress. So I don't think money dumped into the economy is the answer, but maybe personal and family confidence is. What if we had a way to help each other meet our needs without exchanging money?

Here's my proposal: How about we swap and barter the goods and services we already have to help each other out? Let's start with an event where people can see how it would work. I'm thinking we could do it at Lakeview sometime before Christmas. Everyone who wants to participate brings items they'd like to exchange (books, toys, clothing, whatever is in good condition and not obscene) as well as any service they're willing to perform (same rule applies). Maybe we ask each person to bring a can of food to donate as well-the price of admission. We set up display tables and the swapping begins. Would we need tickets to trade or could people just work out the swaps on their own? Hmm, not sure.

After the event I want to set up an ongoing website. Let's say you post your goods/services and get a credit each time one is selected and donated by you. Your credits can then be used for your own purchases. But here's a twist. Each person who signs up will create a brief user profile and include 5 or so items they're really in need of (in my case, a used but working dishwasher would be great). Each week a different profile will be posted and spotlighted. Anyone who donates one of the requested items gets double credits for the donation. The spotlighted individual receives these donations as a perk of participation and doesn't have to use his/her credits to purchase them. I would love to have a debt tracker and a saving tracker on the site, too, where everyone can note what they have paid down each and what additional money they've put in savings. Any money we don't have to spend on fixing or replacing something can go towards eliminating debt and/or building savings. Both of those are confidence builders and help families regain their footing. Families are the basic units of society-when we are empowered to solve our own problems instead of relying on government intervention, the very foundation of society is fortified. The structures in place right now aren't working so let's work outside those structures.

So how does this help the economy? My thinking is this: as we work together to solve small problems that look enormous we enjoy little successes together. This builds confidence in ourselves and in our community. As confidence in ourselves grows, our attitude changes and we shift from pessimism to optimism.

The line in the sand

Where do I draw it? At what point do I say, you can go this far and no farther? In trying to foster independence, have I permitted too much? My 18 year old thinks that "18" is a magic number and demands to be treated as an adult. His definition includes parental availability when he wants it (i.e. rides to and from wherever) and parental disinvolvement when he doesn't (i.e. stay over night at a friend's without permission). Today I called him on it. After specifically disobeying us (in big ways) twice in the last 24 hours, he wanted a ride home from work. I refused. And I made Troy refuse too. I'm fine with my own decision; perhaps I was wrong to insist on it from my husband. But if we're not united in our stand, it's not really a stand. So what's the answer? Where should my line in the sand be? And if I made the right decision I think I made, why do I still feel so yucky?

Blessed

The last few weeks have been wonderful for me. I mean that literally-21 days full of wonder.

We spoke in Sacrament meeting two Sundays ago on the topic of callings in the Church. I'm still not a huge fan of public speaking, but I do like the preparation and even the opportunity to vocalize my thoughts and feelings. It's just the actual time behind the pulpit that's unnerving. I never really know what I think about something until I say it out loud. Poor Troy-he has to be my sounding board for every subject of every lesson I prepare.

The same Sunday we spoke was my Sunday to teach Relief Society. I love this calling. Maybe it's just less intimidating to stand in front of my sisters than it is the whole ward, but I love it. Actually, I think what I love is the opportunity to discuss together Gospel subjects close to our hearts. My testimony is strengthened and I feel personally renewed in Relief Society. I like all our Sunday meetings but RS has a special place in my heart.

Since that Sunday, our job and financial situation has miraculously turned around. While we're not fully out of the woods yet, I am reassured that we will be okay. And my work schedule has improved so I can participate in activities that are important to me (temple visits with friends, helping at my kids' school, etc.).

On Thursday night I went with my friend to the first ever "Mormon Women Project Salon Night". We heard from four different faithful and talented LDS women (none of whom fit the cultural mold) about their testimonies and life experiences. The testimonies expressed were simple and pure-the Gospel is true, our Heavenly Father and our Savior love us, and we must be gentle and loving with others and with ourselves. Yes! That's exactly what I feel! We spend SO MUCH TIME worrying about things of no consequence, when all we really need to do is focus on the two great commandments, to love God and to love one another. If we are getting those two down, everything else will just naturally fall into place. We will cultivate faith, hope, and charity without even realizing it. Missionary work will be done, not as a project to complete, but as an inevitable result of sharing the good news of the Gospel and Heavenly Father's plan of happiness with those we care about.

And now it's Conference weekend. The only thing not to love about Conference weekend is that it's over too quickly. I loved Elder Holland's talk yesterday morning, and I loved what I heard of President Uchtdorf's talk on the way to work. And today we get to spend as a family, listening together.

I don't know why these last few weeks have been so amazing. Did I do something extraordinary to deserve such an abundant feast? Not that I can remember. Actually I can think of several periods of time when I've been personally working harder to be close to the Spirit but haven't had such an outpouring. Maybe it doesn't matter why, maybe it's just for me to enjoy it and be grateful for the experience and treasure it in my heart for the more difficult times which are sure to come. I don't know. I am grateful, though, to be blessed in such a way.

Sunday

We have 9 am church right now. I like early meetings because then we're done and we can relax the rest of the day; the down side is we have to be at church at 9 am. Most Sunday mornings I do okay with that, but today I just really didn't want to wake up. I struggled to get myself in a good mood for church because what's the point of sitting for 3 hours if I'm not feeling the Spirit and getting something out of it? Well, other than partaking of the sacrament of course. That's necessary and a good enough reason to go on its own. I just like coming home with renewed faith and enthusiasm to do good.
The Sacrament meeting talks made the whole block worthwhile. The talks were about forgiveness and mercy. Here's my favorite line, the one I'll be mulling over for a while: "We are commanded to forgive because we forget that we were commanded to love."

Semi

We left Salt Lake at about 8 am and landed in Chicago at 11ish. Our flight from Chicago left at 6 pm Central time and arrived in Brussels about 11 am whatever-European time. From Brussels we had another several hours till Kigali and then, finally, Entebbe at about 10 pm. The good news for us is, we love to talk and can entertain ourselves for hours with convo and giggles. The bad news for everyone else on the plane is, we love to talk and can entertain ourselves for hours with convo and giggles. Well, too bad for them.
All of my closest friends make me laugh. And they seem to think I'm funny, too. I love that they think that, largely because I love being the center of attention. With Katie it goes a step further. She loves to be the center of attention as well and so our time together is often spent in humorous one-up-manship. One of us will make a random, mildly funny observation about whatever's at hand. The other will immediately play off that comment, expanding it in both scope and volume (anything's funnier when it's said louder, that's our policy). This continues until we're laughing so hard neither of us can breathe.
Once we've recovered ourselves, another phenomena occurs. We suddenly seem to take the subject seriously and discuss it again. That's how the "semi" conversation got started.
Katie was journaling on her iPad so I, hating to be ignored for 72 seconds, shared my feelings about the colon vs. the semicolon. The semicolon is my favorite grammatical critter; he has that cute little tail. His punctuation options are limited, though. He can't make a list of things like the colon can, and he doesn't have the versatile range of the comma. I wondered aloud why this is. Katie suggested that perhaps he's just not fully evolved. Primordial creatures coming out of the ooze had tails, and so did prehistoric man if the scientists are to be believed. So maybe there's hope for the semicolon.
Thinking about the semicolon led me to thoughts about other "semi' things. Semisweet chocolate-hmm, it's more bitter than sweet so I'd say the semi's pretty semi. Semitrucks-really? If anything qualifies as a truck I'd submit it's the semitruck. I love the prefix "semi"; it has a 'meh' quality to it that just makes me smile. It's so indecisive and leaves lots of room for personal interpretation.

The title space is intimidating so this post shall remain nameless

I had lots of ideas for my first post, but then I got sidetracked by the blinking bar calling to me in the title space. I felt pressured to name my work before I'd even met it yet. I think a better place for the title space to be is at the end of the post; it's less unnerving there.
Recently I went to Africa (oh, how I love saying that!) and I plan to write much about my whole adventure, but not today. Today (or more accurately the night preceding this day) I thought about reading and writing. I've quietly lurked around good writing blogs and blogs of readers I admire for quite a while. I want to be friends with the people I find there, but friendship is a two-way street. I love these blog writers for putting their true selves out there, for writing true truths. It's easy for me to contemplate writing like that for people who don't know me, but will the people who do know me still love me? Yikes.
I'm interested in gentle constructive criticism of what you read here. I can't do much about the content (it's just what's in my head and in my life) but I am interested in your thoughts on my presentation. I think my writing tends to the overblown and wordy with a sprinkling of mild arrogance sometimes mixed in. Sometimes I think my personality's a lot the same. If so, both could use improvement.
I'm also interested in what you're reading and what you have read that's mattered to you. I read a lot, but I often forget to record what I've read. I'm going to do better at that, mostly because I love talking with people who can remember books that resonated (which is the perfect word-I love to think of violin strings vibrating long after the fingers have stopped playing) with them and why. I feel foolish when I can't contribute because I can't remember. Plus I think no one really believes that I read anything worthwhile if I can't remember it in a pinch.
Right now I'm reading Lonesome Dove, Olive Kittredge, and The Day the Falls Stood Still. Well, I'm kind of reading Lonesome Dove. I got bogged down a few hundred pages in so I flipped through till I found a section that interested me and picked back up from there. Is that cheating? When I'm at the library I like to read the first few pages and the last few pages before I check something out. The last few pages are important because I can usually tell from them if the conclusion warrants reading the whole dang thing. Not always, though-plenty of times I've brought a book home, picked it up, and then wondered what I was thinking when I checked it out.
So, timshel. East of Eden is one of my favorite books of all time, one that I actually can remember reading. Well, really, the first half is my favorite. I don't care for Aron and Cal particularly. They're kind of superfluous-I think the story is really Adam's. Anyway, timshel is (according to John Steinbeck) the English spelling translation of the original Hebrew word God uses when speaking to Cain after Cain has murdered Abel. I've thought about researching it to find it if it's really accurate or not, but I like leaving magic alone sometimes. And the basic idea, that we MAY choose, I believe. It's maybe the core of all I believe. It's why my religion makes sense to me and how I make sense of the world around me. We're none of us stuck where we're at right now-there's always room for 'thou mayest' make a different choice.